When It Seems Like It’s Never Enough: The Unending Battle of Being a Parent
Saying no does not make us bad parents.
“At the end of the day, remind yourself that you did the best you could today, and that is good enough.” — Lori Deschene
It’s never enough with children. I had one of those days when I thought I did everything right.
My sons had a birthday party of one of their classmates; I took them there, participated, and even became the explorer guide in one of the games. I also bought them a toy they wanted, and it wasn’t enough. One of my children was upset at night because I hadn’t done something for him.
Being a parent is the best test to see how patient you are. It took all my will to stay in a positive state and be kind to them. Inside I was angry; I wanted to scream, “I do everything for you!!!!!” I bet many parents can relate.
It’s so easy to feel like we’re never doing enough as parents. We give and give, and it still doesn’t seem enough.
Our children are constantly testing our limits, pushing us to see how far they can go. It can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
Sometimes, we can take a deep breath and remind ourselves that we’re doing the best we can. After all, we’re human, and we’re bound to make mistakes.
The important thing is that we keep trying, day after day, even when it feels like we’ll never be good enough. Because in the end, our children need us to be there for them — imperfections and all.
So if you’re having one of those days (or weeks, or months) where you feel like you can’t do anything right, take heart. You’re not alone in this parenting journey.
We’re all struggling, trying to figure out this thing called parenthood. And we will make it through — even on the days when it feels impossible.
It’s never easy being a parent. There will always be ups and downs, good days and bad days. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it.
So we’ll keep trying, no matter how hard it gets, because that’s what parents do. They never give up on their children, no matter what. And that’s something to be proud of.
Erasing the Guilt of Saying No
It is not wrong to say no. You are not a bad person if you say no to something. It is okay to use your time in the way you want and prioritize your own needs.
You cannot do everything and be everything to everyone. It is not your responsibility to make others happy. You have a right to set boundaries.
It is not selfish to take care of yourself first. You need to be well to take care of others. When you are taking care of yourself, it sets an excellent example for others, especially your children.
They will learn that it is vital to nurture themselves and others. Suppose you do not take care of yourself. In that case, you might resent it.
Saying no does not make us bad parents. It does not mean that we do not care about them. It means that we are taking care of ourselves to be the best parents possible.
Parents’ Perplexing Desire to Give Our Children “More, More, More”
As Parents, we are not satisfied with the idea of giving our children “enough.” There is a growing trend of parents wanting to give their children “everything.” This trend is not restricted to material things; it extends to other aspects of life.
There are a few reasons why this trend has become so popular.
First, parents want their children to be happy, and they believe that more will make them happier.
Second, parents want their children to have every opportunity to succeed in life.
And third, parents feel like they need to give their children more because they didn’t have as much when they were growing up.
Whatever the reason, this trend of giving our children more is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, if we can provide our children with more opportunities and experiences, it’s likely that they’ll be better off for it in the long run.
However, here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re considering giving your children more.
First, make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. If you’re giving your children more because you want them to be happy, that’s fine. But if you’re doing it because you feel like you have to keep up with the Joneses or trying to buy your child’s love, that’s not a good enough reason.
Second, be mindful of what “more” means for your family. More doesn’t always mean material things; it can also mean more time spent together as a family, more opportunities to explore new interests and hobbies, etc.
And finally, don’t forget the importance of teaching our children how to be grateful for what they have. No matter how much we give them, they must learn to appreciate what they already have in their lives.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced as a parent? How do you keep going when it feels like you’re never doing enough? Share your stories and advice in the comments below. We can all learn from each other!
This story was first published on A Parent is Born.